13 Oct '08
re: 27 sep '08 (S) consultation with ate BB
since rona my counselee cancelled her appointment this day, i decided to visit ate BB to consult her on what to do about my plan to give up all consultancies (counseling & testing) except CKS. ate BB asked me to put the date and write my questions and number them while she counseled Art, a recipient of miraculous healing of a conglomerate of illnesses. question (1) shall i retain CKS consultancy for free, i.e., as outreach? (2) or shall i just devote weekends to my kids, especially Mikey? ...
without bothering the lord, ate BB immediately said that the # 2 is more important than # 1. although, she also commented on #1 that since the center will still be asking for donations, it is not outreach as such and i would in effect be depriving another psychologist of that privilege of earning. the other questions she also did not bother as she said i should give CSB a chance and "huwag pangunahan si lord" as i was already asking until when i will be staying at CSB. the final or the penultimate question i asked was:
Q: "What does Mikey need from me?"
A: P R E S E N C E, T O U C H, and F R I E N D S H I P !!!
tumpak na tumpak dahil ito naman ang mga nakikita kong hinihingi mo sa akin verbally and nonverbally, directly and implicitly.
in fact, i told ate BB i've started to get angry at you and use threat (authoritarian parenting style) in my desperate attempt to make you concetrate on the task while teaching you to do your homework. at one time, you remarked that you would just be a priest. i countered that a priest needs to be intelligent too! in your anger, you also became angry and questioned me why i was also getting ANGRY at him, which made him justify himself getting mad at the whole activity. though, i still saw myself at a higher plane (well, i'm also pressured by tasks i needed to do, i.e., psych reports of SVD postulants) because what i was doing was for him, the student, i was STRUCK by his reaction and remark. it was as if you were saying: "ikaw na lang nga ang inaasahan ko, magagalit ka rin pala sa akin!" i had to finish what was needed and stop the whole thing as it was already getting unhealthy. then, i embraced you and tried to explain to you my situation and also apologized!
so, this is my mission. as soon as i started working here in CSB, i.e., Oct 2, 2008, the image of st. joseph often crossed my path: (1) st. joseph shrine at Anonas where i ride the LRT line 2 going to CSB and get off going home, (2) i saw the holy family in a slide shown at the CSB chapel to deaf students and st. joseph highlighted. st. jo was teaching jesus as he was doing carpentry with the words below saying that st. joseph told jesus stories about the bible in his childhood! and i was reminded that (3) our barrio is San Jose, (4) our developer is new San Jose builders, and i recalled (5) the miracle in the US (i think santa clara, CA) where the sisters prayed for 9 days for help to finish their chapel and a carpenter came from nowhere and finished a winding staircase that is physically impossible, i.e., without support but is very sturdy and is there up to now going up to the choir loft from the 1st floor!
